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The Hypnotic Storyteller's Kryptonite

Many who know me, know that I enjoy telling stories, most of which are true, but often enough there are a few embellishments to make the story, let us say...attention worthy.

In any case, there is a characteristic of mine that not many are aware that I possess and that being a super power. Yes, admittedly I am somewhat ashamed of voicing such magnanimity, but when the truth comes out about me in the end, the super power that I possessed will remain as probably the most mentioned characteristic and possibly claim to any fame in the duration of my short life. This super power has at its base a strength and a weakness. The power and the strength itself is this...I have the ability to put people to sleep by talking. It works while I’m talking and stops working when I stop talking.

Take my wife, for example, for years, I didn’t talk much, but when I did, it was to tell a story, to make a point of debate, or just to make a point. Ordinarily, when my wife would be riding in the car, she would have her sunglasses on and I would be talking up a storm and she, looking forward into the sun. It took me years to discover that what I perceived to be silent and polite listening, she was actually mesmerized by my voice and super power. That what I saw as an attentive wife, was actually a sleeping being behind a mask, albeit sunglasses the majority of the time. This power had not been discovered for decades as I, being the introverted and shy one, did not know the magic of my own voice as words fell on people like rain lulling them to sleep.

This morning, however, there was a shift in the atmosphere. I had taken the dogs on a walk and, as is my usual case, to let Molly off of her leash, Molly immediately crouched and hunched down as if to go on the prowl for some tasty vermin. In the line of sight, just beyond Molly, a hawk was perched atop a hedge, attempting to poke through the top of the hedge at the screaming and chirping birds below protected by the dense holly leaves and stickers.

As Molly approached the scene, my mind catapulted to the what if the hawk dives at Molly and attacks her? Fortunately, the hawk perceived the situation intelligently and flew off. I could see where the hawk would have no desire to fight a dog over a bird when there are a thousand birds in nature to choose from. Off, she flew and we did, too.

Subsequently, as we returned from the walk, I found myself sharing the story with my wife as we stood at the stove top preparing breakfast. Jane was so intent, captivated by my every word, smiling with expectation and poised for an exciting ending. As I told my story, I noticed her expectant demeanor and how different she looked. I thought, “Could it be that my super power was waning? She’s not falling asleep as usual while I’m talking?” And, as the moments left all too quickly, I surmised the change...she was waiting on the bacon I was frying. Once the bacon was in her clutches, she smiled, said thank you and was off, out the door.

Could it be that all this time, indeed, possibly, even most likely, that if I had served bacon with every story that it would nullify the power that I had on my wife, and my family who fall asleep at the drop of a word, nay, even on all people within the sound of my voice?

Could it be that something as simple as bacon be the answer to drown out the power that God has given me to lull even the most powerful of minds to the most deepest of sleeps? Could bacon, aghast, please, no...could bacon actually be my kryptonite?

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